addicted

Do you ever happen to disturb somebody’s personal limits?
You know human being is undeniably a sociable kind of thing, you are to live with your family in your home and with your neighbors in your neighborhood … so you need to know the rule, and the point is that you’re not alone in ordaining or judging the rule. You are to know and respect other’s priorities, other’s limits, other’s principals cuz you’re gonna live with them and you may have no right to upset other’s personal freedom. As they can't order you what to do when you are not upsetting their personal freedom. Every body is free to act up to the point of disturbing other’s limits.
You may want to make drunk in your room but then, you shouldn’t drive. Nobody has the right to endanger other’s lives by driving when drunk and on the other side; nobody has the right to forbid me not to drink if I’m alone in my room. Seems a good deal, no?
Aaa.. Some days ago there was a workshop stuff of thing in Sharif about the miserable and ruined lives of addicted. Actually I found a contradiction in it. In one way it was the very averse picture of them struggling with twitches to find the damn shit and live a bit more ephemeral joyful life on the price of losing their heath, money, energy… whatever and the other side was the same undeniable everybody’s own freedom in his own personal limit.
Do you really think that an addicted man can cause any trouble to other’s lives? He is the only master of his own muscle, money, energy… again whatsoever that you have no privilege to claim… so s/he may even want to commit a suicide, still none of your business. So why do you think that there seems to be a vast bloody fight against the addicted or even smugglers?
One more question, why don't the governments or the other administrators order the scientist to invent some other kind of shit that has less damage but keeps the ephemeral joy. Is it that hard?

I had always heard your entire life flashes in front of your eyes the second before you die.

First of all, that one second isn’t a second at all, it stretches on forever, like an ocean of time. For me it was lying on my back, at Boy Scout Camp, watching falling stars. And yellow leaves from the maple trees that lined our street, or my grandmother’s hands and the way her skin seemed like paper. And the first time I saw my cousin Tony’s brand-new Firebird.

I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me, but its’ hard to stay mad when there’s so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I’m seeing it all at once and it’s too much, heh! My heart fills up like a balloon that’s about to burst.

And then I remember to relax… and stop trying to hold on to it. And then it flows through me like rain, and I can’t feel anything but gratitude…for every single moment of my stupid little life. You have no idea what I’m talking about, I’m sure… but don’t worry, you will someday.

American Beauty

musical motif

While people are fairly young and the musical compositions of their lives is still in its opening bars, they can go about writing it together and exchange motifs, but if they meet when they are older, their musical compositions are more or less complete, and every motif, every object, every mood means something different from each other

The unbearable lightness of being, Milan Kundra

The saddest thing I can madly feel, up through my bone.

Life 2

There are some goddamn serious glucose-sapping stuff in the life that you can’t find a straightforward instrument to check on, just not the kind of things that miners are digging for or divers are submerging for. It’s simply nowhere, and still almost everybody is going to get caught in its enticing trap.

How one can be sure about the Afterlife? what is waiting so far to happen on the exact moment of passing away, is it going to be anyhow continued? what the hell is the idea of hell or Heaven? Am I going to receive molten lead through my ass?!

Maybe reincarnation has came to mediate the extremes, but still remains the old unraveled question of how it can be testified?

You see, these are among the fundamental questions of the so-called life. Yet seems you are much more empty-handed to go through.

But the funny part of the story for me lies in the heart of knowing where on earth the people are searching the answers for. considering the fatefulness of the stuff, you can’t let it loose, so sooner or later the people is going to choose a seemingly logical answer for themselves, some may need not look far for an explanation but others may will to go beyond imagine! and here comes the very philosophy of the so-long superstitions, stupidity, bigotry, fanatical suppositions, illusion…

(to be continued)

Sweet November

Something that I really can’t help my shedding tears for, is a lover who is happened to be aware of his/her lover’s acute disease only after s/he fell in love. Especially when the diseased is happened to be your favorite actress!: Charlize Throne

Have you ever happened to cry at the top of your voice? Well, I did it tonight, thought I was just in the mood of it.

Now I'm standing here
No one to wipe away my tears
No one to keep me warm
And no one to walk along with
No one to make me feel
No one to make me home
Oh, what am I to do?

I'm standing here alone
It doesn't seem so clear to me
What am I supposed to do
About this burning heart of mine
Oh, what am I to do?
Or how should I react?
Oh! Tell me please

The rain was killing the last days of Summer
You had been killing my last breath of love
Since a long time ago
I still don't think I am gonna make it through another love story
You took it all away from me
And there I stand
I knew I was gonna be the
The one left behind.
But still I'm watching the lake vaguely conscious
And I know...my life is ending

Viktor Lazlo

Who Orders What?!

Any single chapter of one’s life demands its own particular demands! and I think, must be fully satiated in its own chapter, otherwise may cause some envious kind of feeling in future.

Consider a boy whose thirstiness for toys and plaything has not been quenched in his babyhood, I’m one hundred percent sure that a vacuous kind of feeling will shadow on him whenever he would see a child.

A young man who has not gotten the chance to attend university, a young lady who is forced to cover up herself with a veil, a sensual woman who fails to find somebody to set her love in motion, a man whose earnest need to find his favorite job and earn his favorite money! has not been fulfilled, a thirty-year-old virgin whose sexual desire has been provoked but prohibited…

For me myself, there has been days that I was supposed to pore over my books but I just willing to play Fifa2006! I might have been much prosperous, but not sure whether I would then feel as satisfied as I do today.

I guess self-censorship is nothing but a brutal murder, so let it go whenever you please!

Turning point

Did you ever happen to think about your turning point of your life? You may as well have some dozens of miner turning points in your life, but you sure can choose the most compelling one, the fateful day or even second which has turned your previous destiny. you will always walk from then on with the memory of that turning point in tow.

It’s ridiculous, isn’t it? That your perhaps scheduled vision of the future is going to be completely ransacked in a sudden unpredicted flash of second. why is it like this? how on earth does it get its power?

Do you believe that the chance of running into a turning point will reduce as you get older? I am afraid I’m old enough to answer this question, but I am quite sure that your mood has the key role, it’s the determining factor. Perhaps it’s you that choose your kind of turning point and its time…

life 1

I’ve never ever stop to think what the hell the life is to going to be. The very thought of it has exhausted me so for, you see it’s not the kind of matter the physicists are digging into, for life is damn happened to occur just for one damn time, this is just happened not to be the kind of thing that could be trifled with, since it’s your first and last chance. The point is that you are to decide on the spur of the moment in which you’re heading through. How on earth you could pin down the best route if it’s your first pace on the path, and the problem got worse when you find it a labyrinth kind of path.

On the other hand came the stark idea of Afterlife, the crucial hypothesis that you’re supposed to receive your retribution based on your deeds, but now comes the typical question of who’s gonna judge the good and bad deeds of mine, how the hell these goods and bads are gonna be discerned if you had only one chance to choose… the more I think about it, the more I saw the boundary of bad and good vague…

(to be continued)

My New Friend

Should I ever be asked of my biggest asset in my life, I wouldn’t think twice to say my friends. Call me crazy but I really confess that for me, this is kind of thing that can’t be forsaken, anyhow anywhere.

I remember that every single time that I’ve came across a lofty idea or a worthwhile book or movie… the very first thing that I was to do next, is to share the joy that lies inside me with a friend, I kind of feel that without sharing, the joy is somehow incomplete.

Anyway, I hope this little preface can help you know the importance but the story is that I’ve found a wonderful friend, and for me this is not a platitudinous matter at all, I was going to be somehow disappointed about my friend-finding abilities but well, many thanks for Hosein that resuscitate this crucial but somehow fading feeling of mine again.

Just to let you know, Hosein is an exceptional linguist and also a respectable physicist, not to mentions his frenzied passion for movies. Count it all and you will not even catch half of him!